Apollo alone: Aftermath
by Illuse
Summary: After his brush with death at the hands of a kidnapper, Apollo is left emotionally crippled and scarred. Will he be able to open up to Athena when it matters most?


"-ollo… Apollo!"

Apollo flinched awake, bolting upright off of the couch cushions. Papers slid off of his lap and hit the floor, scattering under the coffee table.

Athena bent down and placed a cup of coffee on the table as he slowly pushed himself into a more comfortable sitting position. She watched him blink sleepily with a smile, pulling her copper hair back over her shoulder.

"Thanks." He mumbled, picking up the cup and wrapping his hands around it. His button down shirt was twisted around his waist, and the top button had come undone. Athena settled back on her heels and hooked her thumb into her pocket.

The clock on the mantle ticked loudly. Apollo tapped his forefinger against the rim of the mug.

"This is the fourth time this week, you know."

Apollo stared blankly into his cup. Athena saw the corner of his mouth twitch.

"If you keep falling asleep, you won't be able to get any work done." She tapped her foot, the sock thumping softly against the floorboards. Apollo sipped his coffee silently, his eyes flitting from between the papers on the floor.

"Oi, Oi! Are you listening? Don't ignore me!" Athena slapped her hands down on her hips and leaned over, sticking out her lip pointedly.

Apollo flinched, but still didn't look up. "Sorry." He mumbled. Athena straightened and crossed her arms. He'd been acting strangely ever since the trial, and she was beginning to get sick of his odd behavior.

"Come on, let's go." The coffee cup clattered as Apollo caught the coat with one hand just before it hit him in the face.

"What's this about?" He said, raising his eyebrows.

"A walk. Let's go!" Athena hooked her own coat over her arm and made a pedaling motion with her arms.

Apollo let the coat slide down his shoulder to fold on his lap. "Athena, it's like 10 degrees outside." He said bluntly. "I don't want to go out there."

"Well poo-poo for you! We're going for a walk whether you like it or not!" Athena stuck out her tongue at him and jammed her arms into the sleeves of her coat. She buttoned the jacket shut and pulled her hair out from under the collar, letting it fall over her shoulder. She'd been working all day, and so hadn't bothered to put it up. "Come on, chop chop!" She clapped her hands at Apollo, who was sliding his jacket on as slowly as possible.

"Ugghhh…Athenaaa…"Apollo groaned to the ceiling, his head falling backwards dramatically.

Athena wadded a scarf into a ball and shot it at him like a cannon. "Quit acting like a baby. Hurry up."

Sufficiently bundled, Apollo grabbed his crutch from where it was leaning against the couch and the two of them stepped out into the cold.

The blast of frigid air caught Athena slightly off guard. It was January, and it had been snowing consistently for the last week. She'd expected it to be cold, but not this cold.

"Brr!" She burrowed her head down into her collar and pulled her hair close like a scarf.

"Told you it was cold." Apollo's voice was muffled by his own scarf, which he had piled high so that it obscured the bottom half of his face.

"Shut up!" Athena punched him in the shoulder playfully, then had to grab a fistful of his lapel when he toppled sideways. Their feet skidded on the snow covered sidewalk as each of them tried to keep the other from falling down. "Sorry! Sorry, Sorry! That was my bad, I should have known better!" Athena blubbered as she hooked an arm around Apollo's back, holding him upright.

"It's ok. Just remember my balance isn't great right now." Apollo said. His voice was flat, emotionless.

Athena tried to ignore the uneasiness in her gut as she bent to pick up Apollo's crutch from where it had fallen into the snow.

It had been around six weeks since the trial, and his leg had healed enough to the point that he could walk on it. According to his doctors, although the bone had been broken in a few different places, each fissure was clean and easy to set. He'd been on bed rest for the first two weeks, and after that he'd been in a wheelchair for three more. Now he was at the point where he was allowed to walk, but after such a long time he'd grown weak, and had to lean on a crutch for support. Even so, he hadn't left the Wright law agency even once since the trial.

"Here." She said, handing Apollo the crutch. "Give me your hand, you can lean on me."

Apollo hesitated a moment, reaching his hand out slightly towards her. Athena grabbed it before he had fully decided if he wanted her to hold it or not.

As they walked, Athena swept her feet out in small circles, scooping snow out of her way and depositing it behind her. Apollo pushed each foot forward heavily, forming trenches in the slush.

"Where do you want to go?" Athena asked in a singsong voice, swinging Apollo's arm back and forth. Because his face was sunk down into his scarf, plus the added fact that he was taller than her, Athena couldn't see the expression on his face.

"I don't know. You're the one who wanted to walk. You decide."

"Ok… Then let's go to the park! It's not too far away, and the Christmas decorations should still be up." She chirped, squeezing Apollo's hand.

"Mmmm." Apollo mumbled.

Snow fell around them, drifting down and gathering in the footprints they'd left behind. It was powdery, the kind of snow that wouldn't form a snowball even if you tried. A gust of wind whipped past, funneled by the tall buildings, sweeping the powder up into the air and creating swirling, twisting flurries. Athena pulled her head down into her collar as the wind took her hair and whipped it about her face. Apollo made a spluttering sound, and Athena looked over to see him struggling to pull long red hairs out of his mouth.

She flashed him a sheepish smile and reigned her locks back in, tucking them back under her collar.

As they walked, Athena began to notice Apollo's limp growing more and more severe. He still wore a brace under his pants that kept his knee and ankle from moving, which forced him to swing his foot outwards awkwardly. His strange gait left an odd looking path in the snow behind them, one regular print and one continuous arch trenched through the snow. He'd stumbled a few times so far, but Athena had managed to catch him each time.

"You doing ok? You're limping a lot." She tried to keep the worry out of her voice, but it didn't take hearing as good as hers to be able to detect it.

"I'm fine." Apollo replied, but didn't look up from the ground. He was biting his lip slightly, and even though it was freezing, a bead of sweat rolled down his cheek. He kept his eyes down, watching his feet and placing them carefully on the slippery path. It was obvious that he was working very hard just to move smoothly.

 _Maybe he's not ready for this yet…_ Athena thought. "Hold up a second, let's take a break." She stopped walking, placing her palm in the center of his chest as a signal to stop. She could feel his heart pounding through the thick layers of his jacket.

"No it's fine. I've got a rhythm going now so I'm alright. I don't know if I'll be able to start again if I stop though. I'll just take a break when we get to the park." He shook the hand Athena was holding, jiggling her arm.

Another stiff breeze threw up a blast of fine powder and danced it around them. Apollo retreated deep into his scarf, and Athena didn't even try to control her hair as it was once again ripped out of her coat. When it finally settled back around her shoulders it was wild and flecked with white.

Apollo snorted out a laugh, muffled by the thick scarf. Athena shot him a sidelong glare as she dragged her fingers through her now-matted hair. Her irritated expression seemed to set him off, and he doubled over in laughter, clutching at his sides.

"What are you laughing at?!" Athena shouted at him, half laughing herself.

Apollo wiped tears from his eyes and flashed a wide smile, his face turned up in the frigid air. He was still paler than she would have liked, a normal thing since the incident, but now his cheeks were flushed and rosy. It was more color than Athena had seen on him in weeks. The smile was a welcome change as well. "You look rabid Athena. Seriously, I'm a little scared of you right now." He guffawed through his fingers.

"As well you should be!" Athena bugged her eyes out and made claws with her hands. Apollo leaned back on his crutch and laughed even harder. Her heart fluttered with joy at seeing him so happy, and as she whipped her hair into a quick braid it almost felt like old times. Like none of it had ever even happened.

Then, Apollo's laughter cut off abruptly. He folded forward, his knees buckling out from under him and his crutch falling away from his body. Athena leaped out, arms stretching desperately to catch him before he hit the ground. Apollo's arm shot out and snagged Athena's coat for support. She dug her heels into the icy sidewalk as much as she could, but couldn't overcome his inertia and wound up toppling down to land on top of him in the snow.

"A-are you alright?! What happened? Apollo?" Athena could barely draw the breath to speak. She was frantic, she could feel tears brimming in her eyes as she blubbered. _This is my fault, I knew he wasn't ready for this!_ She'd managed to keep herself from landing on his injured leg, and instead was awkwardly straddling his body, one hand planted on either side of his head. Her long red braid hung down in front of her, framing his face in a sweeping half circle.

"I'm…fine…" He groaned softly, and her heart skipped a beat. As she stared down at him, a faint smile played across his lips. "Sorry… laughed too hard…made myself dizzy…" His eyes remained lightly closed, eyebrows just low enough to connote his discomfort. The starchy white of the snow contrasted the slight flush of his cheeks, and his brown hair looked darker than ever.

Athena blew out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Her stomach slid back out of her throat into its rightful position. _This idiot…_ She thought, an absurd smile cracking across her face. Athena let her head drop low on her shoulders. Her fingers were growing numb in the cold snow. She hadn't bothered to grab gloves and now she was regretting it.

"Well, I might as well join you." She puffed, rocking over on one hand and knee and letting herself fall.

"Eh?" Apollo raised an arm flinchily above his head as if he thought she was going to drop down on him, but she flopped lightly beside him in the powder, casting up a white cloud. It was softer than she'd expected, like laying in a pile of cotton. Apollo chuckled lightly and flicked her braid back off his face.

They lay together in silence for a while, snowflakes drifting down to dust their cheeks. Whoever shoveled the sidewalk had piled all the debris up in large dunes, and Athena and Apollo had fallen directly into one. Their booted feet stuck out into the walkway, which glistened with slush and melted snow. Athena was spread eagled, her limbs spread out as if she were doing snow angles. Apollo was on his back, his right shoulder dug deeper into the snow than his left, as he'd fallen onto that side initially.

It was quiet, except for the occasional rumble of a passing car and the constant shuffling of falling snow.

Athena felt her nose growing numb, and crinkled it against the cold. She raised her hands, clapping them against her cheeks and blowing out a loud puff of steam.

"You know, I always used to hate Christmastime."

"Huh?" Athena turned towards Apollo, startled by his sudden words. He was staring up into the sky that was milky and thick with clouds, his hands folded lightly across his stomach. His eyes flitted up and away for a moment, and Athena followed them to a frozen string of electric lights hanging from a nearby tree. As she glanced in that direction, she began to notice other tree's around them sporting plastic ornaments and similar trappings.

Apollo drew in a dee breath and closed his eyes for a few seconds. The muscles in his face clenched, running through a million emotions before settling on tired, but with a slight twinge of nostalgia.

"I…I grew up in an orphanage, never knew my parents." He said breathily, swallowing thickly before continuing. "Christmastime was, it was the time of year you were supposed to spend with family. It was always a symbol of all the things I didn't have. Then Clay showed up," A smile flashed across his face before disappearing without leaving any evidence of it having been there, "Just when I started middle school, and he, he loved Christmas. He used to fold up newspaper and cut snowflakes out of it, then sneak them into my notebooks so I'd find them when I got home. He'd start singing Christmas songs in late November, I mean he loved it. I always felt like… he was my family. Like I didn't need anyone else." His head rolled a little, his eyes flicking towards her then back up to the sky. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all this."

"No, no. Apollo, please, I want to hear everything." A little twinge of surprise blew through her mind, but the words came tumbling out. She wasn't thinking. She was just saying what she felt, what she'd been feeling for weeks. "I want to know more about you."

"I just, I miss him so much!" Apollo's hands came up to his face, shaking fingers closing over his eyes. "I can't accept the fact that I'll never see him again. Every day, it's like I'm falling apart. Like there's something missing from my life." A few tears escaped his fingers, sliding down his cheeks. "It hurts. It hurts so much I can't stand it."

Athena lay frozen as her heart ripped itself in half. Every word he spoke was a stabbing spear of black and blue emotion, more potent and weighty than anything she'd felt before. She felt as if an immense weight was pressing her down into the snow, crushing the air from her lungs. It was driving her senseless. She wanted to tear herself away, yet she was entranced at the same time. She wanted to know so badly, but at the same time she didn't.

She'd known. She'd known all along how he'd been feeling, she'd felt it herself once. How could any of them have ignored it for so long? Was it selfishness that let her pretend everything was fine? Was it indifference?

"Apollo-"

"Athena, I can't sleep anymore. Every time I close my eyes all I see is _him_ , laughing at me, taunting me. I'm living a nightmare that I just can't wake up from. I'm so scared, I'm so lonely. I feel like I'm stuck and I don't know what to-"

He didn't finish the sentence, any further words muffled by Athena's scarf and coat as she leaped up from the snow covered ground to gather him up in her arms, cradling his head close against her chest. She pulled him into her like mother would a child, so disgusted and horrified with everything he'd said, everything he'd been through. She wanted to fix it for him but she knew that she couldn't. She couldn't bring Clay back, couldn't protect Apollo, couldn't even see the painful depression he'd been sinking deeper into every day. All she could do was hold him now, and be a shoulder for him to cry on.

"Apollo, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything, I wish I could fix it for you-"

His shuddering sobs began to beat against her and she lost her breath to speak. Apollo turned into her and took two fistfuls of her coat, pressing his head against her collarbone, his tears wetting her copper hair.

He was so tired. So tired and angry and sick of everything. He'd been so stuck in his own head that he hadn't been able to talk to anyone around him, hadn't even been able to look them in the eyes. The atmosphere in the office had been positively toxic, with everyone scared to interact, treating him like he was made of glass. All that did was make him feel worse. It was like they were afraid of him. There was a crazy voice in his head telling him they didn't trust him, and on some days it was louder than others.

It had been so long since he'd spoken to Athena at all, even now he didn't know what had suddenly compelled him to pour everything out to her. But once he'd begun, he couldn't stop himself. He spilled over himself like he had in that lonely basement, bursting like an overfilled balloon, losing himself to the raw anger and sorrow. All that existed to him was pain and tears and the pressure of Athena's arms around him. The cold of the snow and the rumbling sounds of passing traffic were lightyears away.

The heat of their emotion and the warmth of their bodies began to melt the snow surrounding them, and the moisture seeped into their coats and hair. They lay together sunk in the slush, tangled and wound together in mutual anguish. It felt like years that they shared in that moment, every vibration of despair he put off slamming into her like tidal waves and stabbing at her heart. She didn't want the moment to end, no matter how painful it was it was something shared. The pain was something they had in common.

She hadn't been there for him when he needed her most, none of them had. But she was here now.

And now was all that mattered.

Phoenix stopped midstride in crossing the office, his arms full of file boxes and stacks of paper. His foot hovered in air for a second before he stumbled backwards with the weight of the paperwork. He blinked a few times and stared slack-jawed as Athena and Apollo came through the door.

Athena unwound her arm from Apollo's lower back and caught his coat as he shrugged it off, snagging his scarf and pulling it away while he set his crutch against the wall. She hooked it over the rack and unwound her own scarf while she did so. He flashed her a smile and hopped across the office to the cluttered couch, waving at Phoenix as he passed him.

"Hey boss, just went out for a walk." Apollo flopped heavily down onto the couch and picked up the paper's he'd left on the coffee table. He puffed a little to himself and rubbed his leg absentmindedly, then leaned back into the cushions and tapped his chin thoughtfully at the form he held.

Phoenix's head swiveled like an old marionette. Athena mentally added a creaking sound. He gawked at Athena and flicked his eyes back over his shoulder questioningly.

Athena smiled warmly and shrugged. Apollo's body language spoke for itself. His shoulders had risen from the chronic sag they'd been locked in for weeks. While his eyes were red from the cold and the tears, it was a welcoming change from the sallow grey they had been. There was a flush back in his cheeks, a sparkle in his eye, and a perk in his expression. He was lighter, it seemed as though all the grey that had been clouding him had blown away, replaced by the shining personality they had missed so much.

 _I'll tell you later,_ Athena mouthed to her boss, but she was sure that he already knew. It was easy to tell that Apollo had changed. Changed himself really. Athena could tell herself she'd helped as much as she wanted to, but in the end Apollo had climbed out of his funk all on his own.

Phoenix's shoulders dropped and his eyes closed, but it was in relief and joy. He hoisted his stack of forms and smiled back at his two young employees.

"Don't work too hard in here, alright? I'll just be in my office if you need me, don't hesitate to give me a shout." Phoenix said as he stepped away. Athena felt a spark of sweetness in his words, and was warmed by a sudden feeling of fatherly love. She nodded at Phoenix and hopped down opposite Apollo, ready to dive back into her work.

"Apollo?" Phoenix's voice came from just through the doorway, but dripped with such joy and pride that tears sprang to Athena's eyes.

Apollo looked up from his swath of papers and blinked innocently. "Yeah, what's up?" He said.

Phoenix leaned back through the doorframe. "It's good to have you back kiddo."

Apollo smiled with every inch of his face, flushing a warm red across both cheeks.

"Yeah," He said, "It's good to be back!"


End file.
